Have you ever been tied to a relationship which became uncomfortable? It's common for teen girls to have a boy friend who begins to get too serious and the boy hears a common phrase, "I need my space. It's not you it's me."
Relationships carry with them great responsibility and its important for relationships to remain fresh and interesting. Thus time and effort must be put into relationships to make them work. Often our time become so filled up with responsibilities, relationship can become strained and need additional time invested to repair weak areas.
On top of what we have mentioned, a relationship is designed for procreation. This adds more responsibility and time which will also busy up a person's schedule, causing a man and a woman to find themselves very busy and often frazzled.
There are many things people can do to uncluttered their schedule and it always helps to have well kept finances; however, life can become so littered with cares there is not much time for anything else.
You may ask, "What else could there be?" To which God would answer, "Service to me."
An eternal Kingdom is being built; which is a home for us all. The scriptures tell us we will receive rewards for our efforts in building it. Jesus told us to lay up for ourselves treasures and made the statement sound as if we will need these when we arrive in this wonderful place.
Jesus also warned that we should not be caught up by the cares of this life and this is what Paul speaks of in our passage.
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 (NKJV)
Paul understood the importance for a person to invest their time and efforts in building the kingdom of God. The "things of the Lord" are such great opportunities for us we should carefully structure our life to get the maximum from our efforts.
Paul even wanted people to consider putting relationships and marriage on hold so a person could serve to their fullest without the distractions relationships cause.
If it were not for the way we were created, we would never have a problem with our desire for relations. Many people feel condemned because they are attracted to the opposite sex; but that is part of our design. If we did not have attractions that drew people together, there would not be a populated world. God designed us to be intimate and there is nothing wrong with that; or is there?
It is a very smart person who looks at the way the common person walks and walk the other way.
People are often like sheep, and in some cases like cattle. They will follow each other and in our growing societies it is common to find people lined up and many not even knowing why they are standing in line.
People line up to buy the latest trendy toys, clothes, and to get the best price. They will see a crowd and go into the crowd so they too will get what others want.
People are eager to have what everyone else values and it is seen throughout society where people buy the most expensive items, the latest fashion, and in reality it is all common stuff. People are addicted to stuff and especially to new stuff.
The same applies to relationships. A terrible problem of disposable relationships has emerged in many societies. People are on the prowl of the best looking guy or girl. They also view the relationship for what they can get out of it and when they feel they have harvested what they were after, they go in search for a new relationship.
This has created large outbreaks of sexually transmitted disease and emotions which run wild in our society. Low self esteem, hatred, sorrows, and pains, have damaged many individuals leaving them looking for a person which will not take advantage of their condition or add to their pain.
In addition they take with them the problems from their other relationships, for they have learned defense mechanisms to try to control a partner. These relationships and people are very busy and the thoughts of building the kingdom are not their considerations.
You can say these are busy building their own kingdom which will come to an abrupt end and have possibly no eternal redeeming qualities.
There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 (NKJV)
Paul saw women as a most important part of church service. Thus a woman who remains a virgin lives an uncomplicated life and can minister to the needs of the church.
Yet when a woman clings to a man and are married the two become one. Their service is to their husband and the service to the Lord has to be scheduled as not to neglect their spouse.
When you look at the structure of a church you will find a greater amount of women are filling key responsibilities and the ratio of men to women in service is low. Women are a key component to a successful ministry.
Many of the homes the New Testament churches met in were homes where the women served the congregation and made possible the preaching of the gospel.
How refreshing it is to find a home open to believers where all their comfort is provided and they can concentrate on leaning the word.
But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. 1 Corinthians 7:36-37 (NKJV)
One of the problem aspects of Corinth was the in appropriate lifestyles which had become common in society. Corinth was filled with sensuality and inappropriate behaviors had surfaced in the church. Paul thought the threat to the girls who served in the church was great.
Paul wanted the men to take upon themselves much of the responsibility for enabling the service to God, by not overcomplicating the lives of these women.
It was not that Paul wanted to keep the congregation celibate and Paul did approve of marriage. However, Paul wanted the people in the church of Corinth to be effective in their ministry and outreach.
So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment--and I think I also have the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 7:38-40 (NKJV)
There was also great controversy based around marriage. Paul felt if he could unravel the mystery of the marriage responsibility, people may have a greater understanding of the process and therefore need not to debate and waste time with matter which took away from church business.
When people do not understand structures of relationships or have controversy inside their relationships, the building of the kingdom slows. A church can become engrossed in questions, counseling, and as the case with the Corinthians, debate.
Every church needs to be taught fundamentals to live by. When we live in those fundamentals of understanding, life can become less complicated. These are guidelines to follow that we might achieve our goals of building God's kingdom and store up for ourselves treasures in heaven.
Paul had a balanced and rational approach to relationships between men and women. This balance is essential and one we must embrace. Paul's concern must be our concern.
Now the panicle of Paul's concern was misconduct. When Christians accept misconduct in their life they are used by evil against the church and that is the last thing the church needs.
